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Changing the if

The world was deafening
“Here” it called,
“There” it bellowed,
“Where?” I cried.

And, so, I travelled.
To the United States,
And disparate states.
Torn, but hopeful.
20 years I explored,
But I didn’t find home.

Peru was too manana,
Ecuador too British,
Argentina too ravaged,
Spain too Spanish,
Italy too slow,
France too cheesy,
Israel too black,
Morocco too loud,
New Zealand too isolated,
The US too big,
Bali too idyllic,
Sri Lanka too impossible.

‘If you could live anywhere,
Where would you live?’
The question was so enormous,
It overwhelmed me.

And so I reframed the question;
“If my mother and father weren’t around,
What would I do with my life?”
Then the answer came.
And easy.

I applied for jobs in cities that excited me.
Not countries,
But cities,
Hives of creativity, close to the ocean.

San Francisco.

And Melbourne delivered.

Don’t they say:
You don’t choose where to live
A place chooses you?
Bullocks to that.

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